AURELIUS'S WISDOM

*Look beneeth the surface; never let a thing's intrinsic quality or worth escape you.

*To refrain from imitation is the best revenge.

*Because a thing is difficult for you, do not therefore suppose it to beyond mortal power. On the contrary, if anything is possible and proper for men to do, assume that it must fall within your own capacity.

*When an opponent in the gymnasium gashes us with his nails or bruises our head in a collision, we do not protest or take offence, and we do not suspect him ever afterwards of malicious intent. However, we regard him with a wary eye; not in enmity or suspicion, yet good temperedly keeping our distance. So let it be, too, at other times in life; let us agree to overlook a great many things in those who are, as it were, our fellow-contestants. A simple avoidance, as I have said, is always open to us, without either suspicion or ill-will.

*If anyone can show me, and prove to be, that I am wrong in thought and deed, I will gladly change. I seek the truth which never yet hurt anybody. It is only persistence in self delusion and ignorance which does harm.

KNOTS : Male and Female Arguments.

Jill : I'm upset you are upset.
Jack: I'm not upset.
Jill  : I'm upset that you are not upset that I'm upset you are not.
Jack :I'm upset that you are upset that I'm not upset that you're upset that I'm upset, when I'm not.


Jill : You put me in the wrong.
Jack: I am not putting you in the wrong
Jill : You put me in the wrong  for thinking you put me in the wrong.
Jack : Forgive me.
Jill : No
Jack: I'll never forgive you for not forgiving me.

                                                                               Dr.Laing

MIRROR

When a baby looks at it's mother's face, the face is the baby's first mirror. It is in that face that one sees oneself reflected. The image one develops of one's own face is built up in very complex ways . Once it is established, I suppose many people feel they are somewhere or other behind a face which they can't see because they are on the side of it, but if they could see, if they could look into a mirror, or if they could get around in their imagination from behind or look at themselves from outside then they see their   " FACE"
                                                                                         Dr.Winnicot.

CHARACTER ARMOR

A character's entire mental apparetus- his mode of being in the world - is shaped in part by his defensive strategy, by his armoring of character.
Character armor is the face the self turns to the world. On it are etched the twists and turns the defenses demand in their struggle to avoid what is unpleasant .  
By reading character the defensive structure is revealed, like the skeleton of a cadaver under the anatomist's dissecting knife.That structure maps the special condors of one's experience.
Character armor really refers to the whole life style that a person assumes, in order to live and act with a certain security. We all have some, because we all need to organize our personality. This organisation is a process whereby something have to be valued more than others, some acts have to be permitted, others forbidden, some lines of conduuct have to be closed, some kinds of thoughts can be entertained, others are taboo, and so on. Each person literally closes off his world, fences himself around in the very process of his growth and organization.

If everybody has some character armor, everyone is also somewhat of a fetishist. If you are obliged to close yourself to the multiplicity of things, it follows that you will focus somewhat on the restrained area of things; and, if you cannot freely value everything, nor freely weight all things, then you must give disproportionate weight to some things which do not deserve this weight. 
You artificially inflate a small area of the world, and give it a higher value in the horizon of your perception and action. And you do this because it represents an area that you can firmly hold on to, that you skillfully manipulate, that you can use easily to justify yourself- your actions, your sense of self, your option in the world.

TODAY IS YOUR DAY

* Today Is Going To Be A Great Day So I Am Not Going To Be In A Bad Mood.
* Today I Am Going To Be Fearless, Patient, And Kind.
* A Smile Is A Priceless Thing So I Am Going To Smile A Lot Today.
* I Can Handle More Than I Think I Can Because I Believe In Myself And My Ability To Succeed In Whatever I Do.
* Things Do Not Get Better By Worrying About Them So I Look For The Next Best Way To A Positive Action.
* There Is Always Something To Be Happy About So I Will Not Be Irritated Easily And My Words Reveal My Refinement.
* I Am Going To Make Someone Happy Today And My Attitude Is More Important Than My Intelligence.
* It Is Not Good To Be Down. I Let Positive Thinking Guide My Intelligence.
* I Can Be Satisfied If I Try To Do My Best.
* Today I Am Poised, Prepared, Persuasive, Positive, Powerful, Effective, Energetic,    Enthusiastic,  Enjoyable, Imaginative, Informative, Inspirational, Impressive, Zestful And Zinc.

Life is Great & make the most of it by Thinking Big.

READ THIS EVERYDAY TO PEP YOU UP.

OFFICE ISSUES

Some of the common reason for lack of development are as follows- Your manager is biased and does not want to promote you, your company is not focused on hard working employees, your effort always go unnoticed, and you are not used to flattering your boss to make your way up.
Understand that you are obstructing your growth by delving on these reasons. With a little amount of thought and  analysis, you find a solution for these kind of issues. If you think that growth is impossible under your manager, either bring it to the notice of the top management or plan to move on to another company. Likewise, it would be foolish to blame your company for not encouraging hard working employees. Before you blame your company and its policies, you must carefully analyse your skills, abilities, and performances with other employees who are getting promoted.
More often your performance may not be on par with your skills. Discussing with your boss and human resource personnel will give you a better picture of your situation. It's always better talk to people and sort out issues rather than grumbling.
Find the reason that are obstructing your growth and tackle them effectively to progress in your career. 

INTERPERSONAL AWARENESS

*To constantly win the commitment of men and women you want to influence you must get into their worlds by accepting personality patterns, de-emphasising your own ego needs, and offering rewards that are contingent upon their cooperating with you. The people with whom you want to share the winning must be met on their own terms, for they will help you what you want from life only when you help them meet their needs keep their trust.
    *You must keep people remain in their comfort zones as you work from an accepting attitude that conveys the message that you are both worthwhile individuals in the relationship. When negotiating, you have to remain true to your own pattern as well as accepting the pattern of others.It is crucial that you remain comfortabe, because you will send confusing, which are troubling, if you try something which you are not. Your verbal and nonverbal communications will clash, and virtually everyone is disturbed by a person who sends messages that do not support each other. That is like facing a strange dog that is both barking and wagging its tail at the same time. You wonder which message to believe.
    *An attempt to do something you are not comfortable being creates abnormal responses to you. In that case you'll probably make evaluate and make judgment of people who are not acting like they normally do, but who are reacting to your abnormal behavior. This is why many people have conflicts that they cannot understand when they are comfortable once more.
      *Let someone become comfortable with you while rapport being established. Second, you can work to let other people remain in their comfort zones without demanding that they conform to your conscious expectations.
       *First impressions are crucial, and most people form them according to patterns with very little information about the trustworthiness, commitment, or expertise of the person being judged. They are formed almost instinctively.
       *When someone accepts you as a comfortable person to be with, you can stop thinking about patterns and relating and get on with the issues at hand. By that time he has accepted you and is no longer forming initial impressions based on style rather than on substance.